The Ease of Hustle Podcast

48. You Swiping Left?

Today's episode is about this analogy that hit me recently that I wrote an Instagram post about, but I felt like it was so important that I needed to talk it out. I needed to have a podcast episode where I attempted to describe it even more.

It's about swiping left on your goals. Now, I'm not talking about the goals you don't want to be open to, but the goals that you truly desire to be in your life.

Are you swiping left on your goals? Similar to a dating app, you'll swipe left on your goals, not allowing there to be an opportunity for you to match with what you do want. You block yourself from the potential because you think things like, “I'm not good enough,” or “It's just not possible.” Sound familiar? Join me on the podcast this week where I dive deep into what it means to swipe left on what you desire in your life.

What You'll Learn From This Episode:

  • What I mean by my “swiping left” analogy.
  • Difference between saying no to the goals that aren't in alignment for you versus the goals that you truly desire.
  • Examples of why you may be swiping left on your goals.
  • Questions to ask yourself to find out if you're swiping left on your goals.

Listen to the Full Episode:

48. You Swiping Left?

The Ease of Hustle with Lauren Cash

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to Episode 48, You Swiping Left?

Welcome to The Ease of Hustle. I'm Lauren Cash. I'm a master certified coach, calendar queen, and multiple six-figure digital business owner. I adore helping you create goals your mind never thought were an option by blending together spirituality, mindset coaching, minimalism, and Psychology. If you're looking to go from procrastinating perfectionist to easeful entrepreneur, this is the podcast that is meant for you. Thanks for being here. Now let's get to the show.

Hello. I am getting excited for some little trips that I'm going on in August, and I actually have another trip coming in September that I'm even more excited for. But August I'm headed to Florida to see my friend Dorothy, who's been on the podcast, and then I also am going to see my grandma by Palm Springs, near where I went to high school, and then I am going to see my friend in Colorado, back-to-back-to-back. So, that'll be interesting. I'll have to make sure that I rest and clear my energy in between those trips. So, basically every weekend, like starting the second weekend of August, as I'm recording this, but as you're listening to this, I will be between travels. So, I probably will share a lot of those behind the scenes on Instagram stories since that's usually pretty fun for me.

So, if you don't follow along there, you can come follow along there. Connect with me in the stories. I sometimes post posts, but I'm really feeling like stories is more where the jam is at over on Instagram lately. So, if you want to come hang out with me in the stories, we will link that in the show notes, but it's vivereco on Instagram. And then September, I'm going to Costa Rica. What? International travel for the first time since 2020 stuff. So, I am excited, so excited, a little nervous, but mostly super excited. I'm going to a projector-only retreat in Costa Rica in September. I'm excited.

Alright, so today's episode is about this analogy that hit me recently that I actually wrote an Instagram post about, but I felt like it was so important that I needed to talk it out with you here. I needed to have a podcast episode where I attempt to describe it even more. It's interesting, sometimes I have these sort of awarenesses, realizations, concepts come to me and they hit me so deeply, almost at like a subconscious visceral body way that I almost can't even describe it to you as accurately as I want to verbally. And I don't love that because I want you in on the like essence of the concept, but I'm going to do the best that I can here and I hope that maybe even just in you listening, you like get it on a soul level.

So this is about swiping left on your goals. So, if people on dating apps were our goals, or our intentions, or dreams, whatever word you like, the goal, reality, R line, the thing you want to manifest in the physical if people on dating apps were those, a lot of us are swiping left on them and we might not even be realizing that we're doing that. Okay, so what does swiping left mean for all of you who have not been dating on dating apps. In case you're not aware, you have not been educated. So, if you're on a dating app, most of them you either swipe left or swipe right on like these little cards, profiles of people. And so the left is a no, and the right is a yes, I'd like to match with them. And if they match with you, you get matched, and then usually there are different ways in which then the messaging and connecting goes down.

So if you're swiping left, it means you're just saying no to the person. You're basically not even allowing there to be an opportunity for there to be a match where the person can also say, “Yeah, I'm interested in them.” Right, and you've said right, and then there is a match. You both have said, “Yes, I might be interested” together. And then the app tells you, you both are probably interested in each other unless you accidentally swiped the wrong way or whatever.

So, I'm seeing this happening in our goal creation. I even see it happening in some of my goal creation, which is why I wanted to bring this up. So, how this happens is we're given opportunities, or seeing different profiles, different dating profiles, different people on the dating app, and these people are like our goals, intentions, dreams, things we can create. The universe is like, “Hey, this is an option. This is an option. This is an option.” Back to my On the Menu podcast. I'm so glad I recorded that one because I keep referring to it. It's like, “Here's an option. Here's an option. Here's an option. Here's an option you might not even know was an option.” And then we can even create our own options that are not even on the app, but let's stick with they're all on the app.

Then, some of us are swiping left, not because we're like, “No, I'm not interested in that. No, I'm not available for that. No, I'd rather not only make $20K a year or whatever.” If that's your jam, then totally amazing. But whatever it is, you're like, “No, I'd rather not. They are into this thing and I'm not into that thing. That's not in alignment with me. No, thank you. I would not like to give them an opportunity to connect with me.” That's not the swiping left then I'm talking about. Of course, we don't want to be available for things we don't want to be available for. We don't want to match with people that are not in alignment with us. We don't want to match with goals that are not in alignment with us. And we don't want to create realities that are not what we don't want. Yes, swipe left all day long on those.

Where I'm seeing we're swiping left though is on things we do want to be available for, on chances we do want to take, but we block ourselves from even the potential of matching because we think things like, “I'm not the kind of person who that person would like.” I've definitely done that on a dating app. “I'm going to swipe left because they're too hot for me, so it's a no.” Wait what? What? What is your self-worth, your self-belief that you're taking yourself out of them deciding whether you're attractive or not to them just because you think they're too attractive? We do that with our goals all the time. Oh my goodness.

We're like, “No, I'm not good enough for that goal, so I'm going to be a no for that.” Wait, huh? What? What if that goal wants you too? If that's your desire, then it does. And the only reason you're not creating it is because you've said, “I'm a no for that. I'm not available for that because it's too attractive.” So funny. I'm just like so fired up about this. And then we have thoughts like, “It's impossible for me to say yes to that because of these things.” But what if those things aren't truly obstacles? I don't know, this could happen with the partner on a dating app as well. Like, “It's impossible that they would like me because I'm a coach, because I am an entrepreneur, because I may not be sure I want kids, because I don't know.” But you haven't even given it the chance to have the conversation to see if maybe there are some strategies to overcome those obstacles like we do with goals.

And I'm going to record another podcast episode that's actually all about that. That is the next podcast episode after this, coming next week to you, is all about non-negotiables and goal creation. And that's really what that uncovers for you is like, “I'm saying no to this just because I think these obstacles then are why I can't create that thing.” But what if they're not actually? What if you can totally create that thing without those obstacles being a problem? What if that's actually the path to creating it for you, but you haven't even swiped right to even see if it's a chance? You don't even give it a chance.

We often think, “Goals like that don't come to people like me.” There's this vibe of, “People like me, self-worth, who I am, identity.” There's a lot of identity talk here. Self-worth and proving energy too. Like, “I don't have enough degrees. I haven't had enough experience. I haven't earned it. I haven't paid my dues. So I'm just going to swipe left. I'm not even going to give it a chance. I'm not even going to go after it.” But the only reason you don't create it is because of that movement, that swipe of left. Not because it's true that you needed X number of degrees or you needed X number of experience, or you needed to be more valuable. You already are inherently worthy. That's just you limiting yourself. It has no root in truth.

So when we swipe left, it makes it impossible for that goal to be created, for that goal to come into our reality, that reality to be our reality when we say no. I feel like this example of the swiping with the dating is such a good one because it's like there's no way for that person to become your lifelong partner if you swipe left and say no to them. How are they ever supposed to then match with you, then have conversations, then go on dates, then create a relationship, see if it's a good match connection if we're like, “Nope, I'm going to decide for you.”

Be open. What if it is a yes? What if you do match? So this is how we limit ourselves with goals and with intentions, with lives we want to live, with realities we want to be in, who we want to be. The goals are never too attractive, too sexy for you. It's not the goal's fault. The goal can be super attractive, super sexy, super desirable and you are worthy of being in connection and with and having that goal. But you got to swipe right. You got to be open to it. You have to allow it in. You have to be able to have the conversations with it, date it, have fights, have arguments, be able to overcome those to be with it. So are you just swiping left on your dreams? You're not even allowing it to potentially match with you, or are you open?

Are you not going to write yourself off? Are you going to have a higher sense of self, deeper worthiness, think more highly of yourself so that you allow yourself to be open to anything on the menu in this lifetime. And I'm not saying you have to go after super shiny goals that we all talk about going after. That doesn't mean that you have to go after those. That doesn't mean that you're swiping left on things you should be not swiping left on. It might be a no for you. You might not actually want a multi-million dollar company. You might not actually want a million-dollar company. Maybe you end up realizing multiple six-figure company ongoing with waitlists, serving clients, resting, investing, getting to travel, I'm good.

That's where I'm kind of coming to. Maybe I don't even really desire a million-dollar company at least in a certain way. If it comes, if it unfolds that way, then so be it, but maybe I don't need to go after that. But I'm not doing that because I'm like, “I'm not the kind of person that… It's impossible for me because…” No. So tune in and ask yourself, am I blocking myself from what I truly desire because I'm just swiping left?

I'll talk to you next week.

Hey there, thanks so much for listening. I wanted to invite you, if you're ready to integrate what you're learning on this podcast and want to dive deeper, you must come check out Cultivate Margin. It's my coaching program that's a hybrid between a self-study course and a coaching program designed just for you. Join me in the community of others like you at vivere.co/margin and you can get that link in the show notes as well. I can't wait to see you in there. Have an amazing day.

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