The Ease of Hustle Podcast

49. Non-Negotiables of Goal Cultivation

Have you ever ordered ice cream with all the different ice cream options in front of you? You walk down the line looking at all the flavors. You know you want ice cream, but you're deciding on whether or not you want nuts, cookies, or fruit in it.

It's very similar to your non-negotiables in goal cultivation. You know the result, the outcome you want, but along the way, you're deciding how much to work, how much time to spend with family, etc. You are creating the playbook by how you get to your result, the outcome you want.

Have you not been liking the way you've been pursuing the outcomes that you desire? Join me on the podcast today where I go over the missing ingredient in goal cultivation. It's setting your non-negotiables. Wondering what non-negotiables are? It's your roadmap or playbook for creating your dream outcome by being specific about what you want the process to look like. Learn all about non-negotiables in this episode and apply it by grabbing the free resource in the show notes.

What You'll Learn From This Episode:

  • What a non-negotiable is.
  • How non-negotiables are helpful in goal cultivation.
  • Why you don't want to cheat your way to your goal.
  • What the free resource “Non-Negotiables of Goal Cultivation” is.
  • How you can explore what some of your non-negotiables are.
  • Examples of Lauren's non-negotiables.
Free Download

Download the Non-Negotiables of Goal Cultivation Worksheet

Have you not been loving the way you've been pursuing your goals and going against things you don't want to sacrifice? Download the worksheet to help you discover what your non-negotiables are in goal cultivation.

Listen to the Full Episode:

49. Non-Negotiables of Goal Cultivation

The Ease of Hustle with Lauren Cash

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to Episode 49, Non-Negotiables of Goal Cultivation.

Welcome to The Ease of Hustle. I'm Lauren Cash. I'm a master certified coach, calendar queen, and multiple six-figure digital business owner. I adore helping you create goals your mind never thought were an option by blending together spirituality, mindset coaching, minimalism, and psychology. If you're looking to go from procrastinating perfectionist to easeful entrepreneur, this is the podcast that is meant for you. Thanks for being here. Now let's get to the show.

Hey, happy Monday or whenever you're listening to this episode. I hope you're having an amazing week. Have you ever made oat milk before? Your own oat milk? I've been drinking oat milk, not like drinking it, but I have been adding it to my coffee, like a little splash ever since, when was it? Probably since December when I was really changing my diet to work on my adrenal fatigue and the hormone stuff that I've been healing in my body ever since about December. I have been mostly not having any nightshades, so tomatoes. Potatoes, I do have some times definitely. I have sweet potatoes because they're not a nightshade, but I have fries and tater tot sometimes because I just love them so much and life without them it would just be too sad. So I have those sometimes, but not at home and not in things that I don't really care about.

And then I haven't been having dairy except for I had been re-introducing some goat cheese, but I haven't had any of that really recently. And then so mostly no dairy and then mostly plant-based except for when I eat out or I'm eating with other people, I'll have some chicken, fish. Sometimes I'll get sushi as well. So, anyway, oat milk has been a thing, and I've been buying oat milk at the store and it feels like it's kind of expensive. Have you ever noticed that? You're like, “It's just oats with water.” And of course, they have all the gums and stuff for the separation and binding and all that good stuff. But yeah, so I finally was like, “Okay, I'm going to make my own oat milk.”

So last night I tried to follow one recipe and I ended up pouring it into this nut milk filter, what do you call it? Mesh bag thing. Words are hard. And it's like this crazy, pasty pulp, no liquids coming out. I must have over blended it or the recipe wasn't very good. So then this morning, I ended up having my first coffee without any oat milk. And then now I created with a different recipe, it was different. You didn't boil the water first, you just threw the water in with the oats and she really cautioned you against over blending, which made me think maybe last night I over blended. And there might've been something with the hot water situation of the first recipe I attempted.

So I just made it and I have it in my coffee now. I am like, “Is it even in there? I don't know.” So I might have to play with the recipe, but I feel the second recipe did turn out better. And I have to calculate how much it actually is for how much oat milk I created. But I think I'm going to be saving a whole lot of money now just making my own oat milk. It was really easy too. It ended up not being a whole ordeal. So anyway, oat milk and optimizing your groceries. Alright, so let's dive into today's episode and talk about this very important topic.

It's funny because this topic we talk about a lot in dating and maybe apartment shopping or house buying, things of that nature. But I haven't really heard this talked about in goal creation. And I believe this is the reason why there are some folks that are very anti goals or say they don't like goals. One of the reasons, at least it's not the only reason, I know I have some other in mind as to why they say that as well, but it's maybe not that they don't like goals, they just don't like the way in which they've been pursuing outcomes. And they have been going against what I'm calling their non-negotiables.

So I'll hear clients say things like, “Well, I want [insert goal], but I can't because [insert non-negotiable].” As if they're in opposition of each other or as if in order to have the goal, they can't honor their non-negotiable inherently, but they're not mutually exclusive. We've just uncovered your non-negotiable. If you're saying like, “I want this thing, but I don't want this thing, this outcome to sacrifice this thing in order to get that” then we've just uncovered some of the rules by which you will create your goal, some of the guidelines by which you will cultivate your outcome. That's a good thing. We've started creating sort of the rules of the road if you will, the game guidelines that you're going to be playing in your manifestation. That's fun.

That doesn't mean that you can't manifest or create the thing, it's just meaning that you now have your guidelines, your rule book, not rules in rules, but, “This is my playbook for creating, for winning the game or creating the thing or manifesting my dream. Now, this is part of the order that I'm going to add in as I am ordering from my menu. I do know I want this thing actually hold this, hold this and can you do this to the thing?” You're just getting more specific with your order. You're learning exactly what you want. And a lot of us think like, “Oh, I can't order that thing off the menu.” Because we're thinking it's the kind of restaurant where you can't make any edits or modifications to your order. I don't know. Let's think about this, “If I order the burger, I have to have the gluten.” That's something I didn't tell you about in the beginning then I'm also not having is gluten. But anyway, I digress.

We're thinking like, “If I order the burger, I'm going to have the gluten buns. And I don't want to have the gluten buns because I'm gluten sensitive or gluten intolerant and so therefore I can't have the burger, but I really want a burger.” This is what we do with our goals. When really the menu is very malleable and flexible and they have protein-style burgers available, or they have gluten-free buns available. They can put it on a salad for you instead of having it in sandwich style. There's so many options and variations available to you and you can still get what you want. So we have to then first get curious about what are our non-negotiables of this goal creation or goal creation in general? A lot of us don't even know that that's a thing, so we don't even know that we need to create the non-negotiables of our goal creation before we set out to create the goal.

I've talked about clean goals, and this is almost related to clean goals. This is expanding the work of clean goals. But before we even set out to create the goal, we need to know the guidelines that we're going with. We're not committed to the goal for all the blood, sweat, and tears if we sacrifice these other things, that's cheating in this game. But a lot of us don't like set what is the cheating of the game? And then we end up cheating ourselves. So I've had this talk a lot with coaches before that have created what they consider a lot of money in what they consider a short period of time, but they ended up burning themselves out or making themselves sick. And I call this cheating the game.

You created that result that you wanted, but you cheated, so it almost is like the result didn't even count. I feel like that's partially like me last year. I ended up sort of cheating and creating how much money I created last year because my body ended up being unhealthy and burnt out at the end of it. So I might as well not have even actually created that result in essence. Not to be hard on myself or on any of you that have had that experience, but it's almost like I cheated the game because I ended up with this outcome that I didn't want. And it's not that I can't create that amount of money and not burn out, it's just that I didn't know what my non-negotiables were when I started out.

So thankfully I did have a last year so I can learn what my goal creation non-negotiables are. So have you considered what your non-negotiables are for your goal cultivation? I've created a worksheet for you. It's a Google Drive doc, that if you opt-in, we'll have the opt-in in the show notes, so vivere.co/49. You'll be able to opt in to get this sheet to walk you through it. So as you're creating a goal, as you're setting a goal, you'll want the clean goal worksheet. If you haven't listened to that episode, we'll have that in the show notes. You'll want to get that worksheet. And then you also want this one. You want to be able to decide on what your non-negotiables are as you create that goal. You want to have the guidelines for what you're willing to do and not willing to do in pursuit of this goal and that'll help you with creating your strategies for creating it.

And this worksheet will help you uncover and identify some of those as you're working on setting what the goal is. This is the pre-work to goal creation is setting up a clean goal, making sure you have your non-negotiables. And then there's also this aspect too, that I'm going to be teaching a lot of my clients, and that is how are we choosing that goal in the first place? How are we entering into that goal in the first place? Are you just doing it from your mind? What you think you should set or is it in relationship with your authority or your inner voice, your intuition that you are choosing what you're going to manifest? I think that hasn't been talked about enough. I think Lauren and I, on the episode with Lauren Armstrong, we talked about that a little bit the entering in, but I feel like that conversation is very important as well. But this will help you get started with what are my non-negotiables for goal cultivation?

So you'll make a copy of that Google doc, be able to print it. If you want to write it out or be able to type on it in your Google Drive. And really uncover this for yourself and play with it. Let it be an iterative discovering process. You're not going to get it perfect the first time. You're going to keep understanding and learning more and more about what your specific order is to the universe, with the universe as you're co-creating. And if you want to get all of those, you want access to the clean goal document, you also want access to this one and you just want to be able to easily download and have access to all of the resources from the podcast really easily.

We do have a Resource Library, all-access pass that we also will link in the show notes if you want to grab that, and that will be available for you too. I think that'll be easier for you than just opting in individually. But if you want to opt-in individually, it's free and you get to do the work on organizing your files yourself on the backend of your computer situation. So that's what I have available to you. So go download that, do the exercise, tune in, what are your non-negotiables for your goal cultivation? And that'll be also help you uncover what are some of the obstacles that your mind is offering you for creating the goal and that'll help you then design strategies in order to make that goal become a reality.

And just to get your pondering happening around, what are some of these non-negotiables? What are some examples, Lauren, of these non-negotiables? What could they potentially be? I'm going to share some of mine with you now. I have more than what I'm going to share with you. And I've been uncovering more and more of them, but I'm going to just share the ones that I wrote down to give you a sneak peek. Yours might not be these, and you might have other ones. I think a lot of what I've heard in a lot of clients are there are a lot around kids and family non-negotiables. Actually, they're usually not presented as negotiables. They're presented as this is the reason why I can't create what I want is because X when really it's a, “No, I'm going to maintain X as I create Y. And this is what I'm going to play with.”

So here's some of my non-negotiables. One is I will follow my strategy and authority and I will have grace for myself that I will not do that perfectly, sometimes I won't. But I will up to the best of my ability and intentions in the present moment follow my strategy and authority. And that's from Human Design if you don't know what that language is from. I will work the hours I want to work. That one has been so challenging for my mind and it's so challenging for a lot of your minds that you can create the goal you want to create while you work the hours you want to work. We often talk about we need to sacrifice that. If you really want the goal then you'll be willing to work any of the hours to make it happen. No, that's my non-negotiable at least. Yes, you can do that if you want to do that, and I have done that. I have worked Sundays. I have worked nights. I have “paid the dues.”

I don't even know if the dues are due anymore, really. I think that's just a belief system in a societal construct we've been living in. What if that weren't necessary anymore? So, for example, working the hours I want to work is not only when am I not available or when am I available? Let's spend this in the positive. When am I available for things? How many hours am I available for? How much energetic output also? It's not just the hours, it's also energetic output am I available for? So, for me, it's I don't want to work weekends unless it's behind the scenes studying or creating. And I really feel like it, but otherwise, I don't want to coach clients on the weekends unless it's a Voxer client and I feel really like I want to.

I'm not going to work at night, especially in the winter. As soon as the sun is down, I'm not working, you do not want me working if the sun has gone down. And even in the summer, I still don't really want to work evenings or nights unless it's really aligned for the group really needs later-ish time, aka 3 or 4pm, then I might set up my schedule to be able to care for my energy around that. And then I want to be able to take the days and times that I want. I want to be flexible enough and trust my clients will honor that for themselves and for me that if it's not meant to be a session that day then it's not meant to be a session that day.

I used to not let myself reschedule things like ever. I would like, “No, we must meet this day, I have to meet this day.” And then I would be really bitter when people needed to reschedule and they would reschedule. But I was so upset about it because I would never let myself reschedule when it wasn't the best for me. If it's not the best for me, it's not going to be the best for them either, so that's just not fair. So allowing myself that flexibility. I own my own company and my own practice so that if I want to go on a retreat in September, which I'm doing. I can do that. I can create that space.

I can create the calendar where I'm able to do that. So that's one of my non-negotiables. And total number of hours worked too in a day, in a week, and energetically, that's been a huge learning for me as I've been learning to embody this projectorness, the energetic output and realizing that's a circumstance. That's a C if you know the self-coaching model. There are only a certain amount of energetic units I'm available for in a day. And that's amazing and wonderful and I don't have to be upset about that at all. I can care for myself under those factors. Another one is I will sleep. I've always had that as a non-negotiable. In college, undergrad, grad school, I never ever sacrificed sleep for studying a paper, a grade, nothing, and I love that. I've never done an all-nighter. #Projector, never done an all-nighter, never would do all-nighter.

I will take care of my body. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. That's one of our core company values, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, there's no forcing. And then I will do the work that I want to do. And as soon as I realize I have work that I don't want to do that I've committed to, I will get support, I will outsource, I will drop it as soon as I am able to. So that I'm only doing work that I really want to be doing, unless it's something unavoidable that is in service of something that I desire, i.e tax forms or meeting with my accountant. I want to do that because I love being able to have the most tax optimized, tax filings, and I want to pay my taxes, I do want that. And I want to be able to take in money as a company and pay the taxes due for that freedom.

So I want to do it because of that, but in the moment on a Tuesday when I have to refile and amend my taxes, do I really want to do that? Not really, but I will do it. Fill out the spreadsheet for the home office write-out. Do I really want to do that in the moment? Not really, but would I like to have that write-off? Yes. So I'm going to do it. So there's some things that are a little bit of, so that energy that I will do, but I really have to like why I'm doing it. Finally, I will have space and freedom and that one's a little vague, but I will have space and freedom. I will not sacrifice my space and freedom for the goal. That's been a huge one for me too. I really didn't think that I was allowed to make this amount of money and also have the space and freedom. I thought you had to sacrifice it.

So what if there wasn't a sacrifice necessary? What if that's not a thing? What if a win-win was a thing? What if what works for you is going to be what works for your clients and vice versa? Those folks do exist. They're out there and they want to work with you because you're embodying something that maybe they really desire to embody as well.

Alright, so you are going to tune in to what are your non-negotiables for goal cultivation so that you have your little playbook ready so that when your mind is like, “We can't create that because then we can never be with our family.” You're like, “Wait, hold on, what's my non-negotiable? What if I could create that and still be with my family? What would that look like?” Requires a whole another level of thinking or tuning into your inner knowing for guiding you there. And I hope you have an amazing week. Talk to you next week. Bye.

Hey there, thanks so much for listening. I wanted to invite you if you're ready to integrate what you're learning on this podcast and want to dive deeper, you must come check out Cultivate Margin. It's my coaching program that's a hybrid between a self study course and a coaching program designed just for you. Join me in the community of others like you at vivere.co/margin, and you can get that link in the show notes as well. I can't wait to see you in there. Have an amazing day.

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